Sleep Training for Babies: What a Sleep Coach Recommends

Many parents ask, "Should I use traditional sleep training methods that involve letting my baby cry until they fall asleep?" As a Certified Gentle Sleep Coach^®, my answer is: "It’s not recommended." There are numerous approaches to sleep training. Before considering the traditional Cry It Out (C.I.O.) method, it’s essential to understand the science of sleep. This is especially true for babies under six months old, for whom the C.I.O. method is generally not advised.

Gentler, more tailored methods of sleep training offer numerous benefits. Sleep science research shows these approaches are just as effective as traditional C.I.O., while also preserving the parent-child bond and minimising the baby’s levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

The aim of this article is to help parents gain a clearer understanding of sleep science and the various sleep training methods available, enabling them to assess which approach is best suited to their family and to decide when to begin sleep training.

Big 3 Categories of Sleep Training

Amidst all the excessive information on the internet, ALL sleep training approaches and techniques that you see on the internet fall into the Big 3 categories:

Extinction (Cry It Out)
Modified extinction (Ferber Method)
A variety of fading techniques (The Shuffle, or the Chair Method)

While there are 3 main approaches to sleep training, the term is often associated with "Cry-It-Out" (CIO 放任哭泣法), popularised by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, where you simply leave the room with no intervention, or Controlled crying/Ferber Method (哭泣控制法), popularized by Dr. Richard Ferber, where you leave the room and let your baby cry, but do timed interval check-ins to soothe them for a little before you leave again. This often results in screaming babies, stressed out and/or emotional parents, with the risk of it not necessarily being effective. There is no scientific research data on sleep training for babies under six months old.

Why Cry-It-Out is Bad?

Crying-based approaches may be effective in the short term, but their long-term impacts remain a subject of debate.

Experts such as Gordon Neufeld, PhD Psychologist and Author, explains how kids should not be allowed to cry themselves to sleep, and how it affects the continuity of the parent-child connection and attachment. When parents leave their babies to cry it out, they may be overlook the baby's genuine needs — be it a physical developmental need or an issue caused by the environment. When parents physically step into their room, they may be able to notice elements in the environment that can be modified that would immediately help with sleep. Babies may truly need a darker curtain, a diaper change, a thinner sleeping bag, or they may truly have underlying medical issues that requires parents' attention. Parents would not know truly what is happening, if they do not go into the bedroom during a CIO session. Even in "successful" sleep training cases, sleep might be smooth for a few months until the next sleep regression, where parents feel like they have to do it all over again - it is simply unnecessarily cruel.

On paper, it does sound straightforward to implement, but in reality, it is painful to endure, not sustainable, and detrimental to the parent-child relationship and the mental health of the entire family.

Therefore, while every family is unique, my recommendation is often for parents to really give gentler sleep coaching approaches a chance. The Shuffle method (or Chair method), for example, is a parental fading method that is much kinder to the baby, kinder for the parents, and simultaneously very effective, and research shows that Ferber and CIO are NOT superior or more effective than gentler fading methods. (Honaker & Meltzer, 2014, p. 337)

So, what is The Shuffle?

The Shuffle Method, sometimes also called the Chair method, is popularised by Kim West MSW, The Sleep Lady, author and co-founder of the International Association of Child Sleep Consultants.

The foundation of this method lies in gradually reducing parental soothing, allowing babies to slowly develop the ability to fall asleep independently. Having worked with families in need across multiple countries, I have personally witnessed how this method can effectively address challenges like difficulty falling asleep, disrupted daytime naps, and frequent night wakings.

The premise of this approach is that once your baby's consistent routine, sleep environment, and daily patterns have been properly established, parents can begin "gentle sleep coaching" to help their baby develop healthy sleep habits. With parental accompaniment, the baby can gradually learn to fall asleep independently in his/her own crib. During this process, parents can assist their baby to relax through intermittent gentle patting and soothing voice. If the baby becomes overly distressed, parents are allowed to pick them up to calm, but it is also important to place him/her back down into the crib before they fall fully asleep. This allows the baby to learn to drift off independently while still drowsy but not yet asleep.

As your baby gradually becomes able to settle to sleep more easily, parents can slowly move their position further away from the crib eventually providing reassurance using only their voice, until they are able to leave the room with ease.

Can sleep training be done while sharing a room with the baby or using a floor bed?

As long as the sleep environment is safe, there is no single arrangement for the bedroom that suits every family. Sleep coaching techniques can work and be modified to fit the individual family, but essentially the heart of the method remains the same: to gradually do less and less, so that you can offer your little one a chance to learn how to be more independent with sleep.

What’s the Ideal Age for Sleep Training?

While a few babies between four and five months may show early readiness for sleep coaching, most aren’t developmentally prepared until around six months. Once your baby hits the six-month milestone, sleep training/coaching can begin—provided your paediatrician confirms that they should be capable of overnight sleeping, and there are no medical concerns.

To reiterate, infants under 6 months of age should definitely NOT try CIO or Ferber method. These very young infants usually lack the ability to self-regulate their emotions and remain highly dependent on parental comfort and reassurance.

Can I get my baby to sleep well WITHOUT sleep training?

Some babies are naturally good sleepers, but the majority of babies will still have sleep disturbances or sleep reluctance caused by sleep regressions, teething, and sleep associations like needing to be rocked to sleep or fed to sleep.

In early infancy, Baby-Led Sleep Shaping techniques can help babies form good habits early on, to prevent the need to sleep train, or ease the inevitable distress associated with sleep coaching or night weaning.

Sleep Shaping Techniques

Sleep shaping techniques involve taking mindful steps such as:

Modifying the environment to make it conducive to sleep (e.g. using white noise, black-out curtains, make sure diaper bin is cleaned and odor-free)
Establishing a regular routine by setting consistent times for morning wake-up, naps, and bedtime
Avoiding overstimulation in the late afternoon (keep play time and stimulating flashy toys outside of the crib!)
Having a consistent, and soothing bedtime routine
Avoiding feeding your baby to sleep from as early as possible
Trying to place your baby into the crib drowsy but awake

Have questions about sleep training or need guidance tailored to your baby’s needs? You are welcome to consult our sleep coach. We’re here to help you and your little one sleep better.