Sleep Training for Babies: What a Sleep Coach Recommends

Written by: Robynn Yip (Gentle Sleep Coach)

As a Gentle Sleep Coach, the quick answer is no: not before 6 months, and not if you feel like Cry-It-Out is your only option, because it's not. The longer answer, is yes, because sleep "training" can be done more mindfully and gently, and I like to think of it as "sleep coaching" rather than "training", because it is to help your baby acquire a skill, ie. the skill to fall asleep more independently, rather than behavior control. This blog's intention is to help educate you about sleep science and the various sleep training approaches, so that you can assess which approach is right for you and your family, and when is the appropriate time for you to try and sleep train. 

Big 3 Categories of Sleep Training

Amidst all the excessive information on the internet, ALL sleep training approaches and techniques that you see on the internet fall into the Big 3 categories:

• Extinction (Cry It Out)
• Modified extinction (Ferber Method)
• A variety of fading techniques (The Shuffle, or the Chair Method)

While there are 3 main approaches to sleep training, the term is often associated with "Cry-It-Out" (CIO 放任哭泣法), popularized by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, where you simply leave the room with no intervention, or Controlled crying/Ferber Method (哭泣控制法), popularized by Dr. Richard Ferber, where you leave the room and let your baby cry, but do timed interval check-ins to soothe them for a little before you leave again. This often results in screaming babies, stressed out and/or emotional parents, with the risk of it not necessarily being effective.

Why Cry-It-Out is Bad?

Experts such as Gordon Neufeld, PhD Psychologist and Author, explains how kids should not be allowed to cry themselves to sleep, and how it affects the continuity of the parent-child connection and attachment. When we leave our babies to cry it out, we may be neglecting the fact that perhaps there is something developmentally, physically, or something in the environment that may be happening. When we physically step into their room, we may be able to notice elements in the environment that can be modified that would immediately help with sleep. Babies may truly need a darker curtain, a diaper change, a thinner sleeping bag, or they may truly have underlying medical issues that requires your attention. Parents would not know truly what is happening, if they do not go into the bedroom to tend to them during a CIO session. Even in "successful" sleep training cases, sleep might be smooth for a few months until the next sleep regression, where parents feel like they have to do it all over again - it is simply unnecessarily cruel. On paper, it does sound straightforward to implement, but in reality, it is painful to endure, not sustainable, and detrimental to the parent-child relationship and the mental health of the entire family.

Therefore, while every family is unique, my recommendation is often for parents to really give gentler sleep coaching approaches a chance. The Shuffle method (or Chair method), for example, is a parental fading method that is much kinder to the baby, kinder for the parents, and simultaneously very effective, and research shows that Ferber and CIO are NOT superior or more effective than gentler fading methods. (Honaker & Meltzer, 2014, p. 337)

So, what is The Shuffle?

The Shuffle Method, sometimes also called the Chair method, is popularized by Kim West MSW, The Sleep Lady, author and co-founder of the International Association of Child Sleep Consultants. It involves gradually fading your assistance over time to allow for your infant to learn the skill of putting oneself to sleep gradually. As her apprentice, I have learned from her first hand how the shuffle method works, and how it can be used across bedtime struggles, nap struggles, and night wakings. The idea is that once your routines, environment, and schedules are well regulated, you may sleep "coach" your baby so that your baby learns healthy sleep habits and learn how to fall asleep more independently, with intermittent patting and shushing, allowing the chance for your baby to learn how to fall asleep in his/her crib. In this method, you are allowed to pick up to calm if your baby is hysterical, but it is also important to place him/her back down into the crib drowsy but still awake. Eventually, as he/she becomes more calm, you will "shuffle" further and further away from the crib, and only soothing with your shushing sounds, until you are out of the door.

What if we are room sharing, or use a Montessori floor bed?

There is definitely no one-size-fits-all formula to sleep arrangements. Sleep coaching techniques can work and be modified to fit the individual family, but essentially the heart of the method remains the same: to gradually do less and less, so that you can offer your little one a chance to learn how to be more independent with sleep.

What’s the Ideal Age for Sleep Training?

While a few babies between four and five months may show early readiness for sleep coaching, most aren’t developmentally prepared until around six months. Once your baby hits the six-month milestone, sleep training/coaching can begin—provided your paediatrician confirms that they should be capable of sleeping through the night, and there are no medical concerns.

With that said, infants under 6 months of age should definitely NOT try CIO or Ferber method. The fact is, there has been little to no scientific research that has done CIO studies with infants under 6 months of age. These very young infants usually lack the ability to self-regulate and depend on caregivers for comfort.

Can I get my baby to sleep well WITHOUT sleep training?

The short answer: YES! While some babies are naturally good sleepers, the majority of babies will still have sleep disturbances caused by sleep regressions, teething, and sleep associations like needing to be rocked to sleep or fed to sleep. In early infancy, Baby-Led Sleep Shaping techniques can help babies form good habits early on, to prevent the need to sleep train, or ease the inevitable distress associated with sleep coaching or night weaning. 

Sleep Shaping Techniques

Sleep shaping techniques involve taking mindful steps such as:

• Modifying the environment to make it conducive to sleep (eg. using white noise, black-out curtains, make sure diaper bin is cleaned and odor-free)
• Regulating sleep schedules (eg. morning wakeup, consistent bedtimes) based on your infant's unique sleep patterns and sleep science
• Avoiding overstimulation in the late afternoon (keep play time and stimulating flashy toys outside of the crib!)
• Having a consistent, and soothing bedtime routine 
• Avoiding feeding your baby to sleep from as early as possible
• Trying to place your baby into the crib drowsy but awake

Have questions about sleep training or need guidance tailored to your baby’s needs? We’re here to help you and your little one sleep better.